"Trust your intuition, it never lies"
When I found out I was pregnant, my first reaction was anger and dissapointment. I knew that this was something that I could not handle, so I decided to make an appointment to terminate my pregnancy. Right before I made my appointment I prayed to Mother God (Yes! Even though it was wrong, I still needed protection) asking for Her guidance and forgiveness. I asked Her to show me the way through this situation any way She could. With hesitation and guilt, I made my appointment and got set up for the procedure.This next chain of events and observations showed me how Mother God works and how paying attention to what is going on around us, allows us to hear the spirit speaking to us. Even though we may see and hear the words, we sometimes miss the message.
So, I got a call from the medical office informing me that my appointment would be conducted at another, sister, facility due to renovation of the current office building. All was fine with that. I got the address and it was relatively close by. The day of my appointment is when the true messages arrived. I started my day out with another prayer asking Mother God to guide me once again and to show me any signs of this not being the right thing to do. I knew good and well that this was not the right thing to do, yet I was not ready for the responsibility. My life was unstable, unprediticable and unsuccessful. My prayer ended with a call from my aunt, but out of shame, I did not answer. I missed my first message. I walked into the "new" appointment facility and found an overwhelming situation. I could not believe my eyes when I saw a small doctor's office FILLED with young and old women. My boyfriend was with me, we did not speak a word to each other but our faces told exactly what we were thinking. This place looked like the nail shop on a Saturday morning. Woman of all ages and colors, mainly alone were packed in DMV like seats awaiting their number to be called. I felt so uneasy, so ashamed of what I was taking part in, yet I proceeded to check-in for my appointment. My idea of this process was one of accommodation and privacy. I came across neither of those. The check-in process was unprofessional, rushed, and embarrassing. I should not be here, this is unbelieveable. Yet again I remained, missing my second message.
At this point, I find myself searching for any excuse to get me out of this. I thought maybe my payment would be declined, hell that would be a sure sign or with all these women here, I'm sure to be rescheduled for another date. Nope, nothing of the sort. My payment cleared, my name was called and I walked down the cold hallway to the exam room. Before the procedure began I had to go through several tests, starting with a confirmation of pregnancy and ultrasound. All went as scheduled until... while getting the ultrasound I discovered that I was not only pregnant but pregnant with twins. I immediately broke into tears. HERE WAS MESSAGE #3!!!!!! A few months before this appointment date, both my boyfriend and I lost two of the closet women in our lives, my grandmother and his sister. The nurse left the room to give me some privacy, yet came back with news. She explained to me that I still had options. I snapped! I know that I was going up against all my morals for just being here, but these people had the audacity to tell me that I could terminate two pregnancies. What the hell kind of people were they? What the hell kind of person was I? How dare I destroy this blessing. I got off that table as fast as I could and called my boyfriend, who was sitting anxiously in the waiting room. All I said to him was "baby there are two" and he demanded we get the hell out of that place. He knew in his heart and I knew in mine, these babies would have the spirit of our lost ones. So I grabbed my belongings and we got the hell out of dodge.
Ladies you know what you know, because you have been blessed with the gift of intuition. Tapped into it, as the message it brings can be the best blessing of your life. Dont ignore it! The call I got earlier that day from my aunt, weighed heavy on my mind when I left the doctors office. So I returned her call. She was calling to let me know she had a dream last night. My grandmother had given her a call and told her, "Tell Christiane I said Hey". Now If I would have picked up that phone to talk to my aunt, my intuition would have immediately kicked in. I would have known what that dream and message meant. But I ignored my gut and I turned away from my intuition. Mother God still had given me three chances to get it right.
Today, those twins are 12 years old and the best part of my life. As each day goes by, I could not be happier with my decision. Both excude some of the most precious characteristics of my grandmother and his sister. They are even named after each woman as a true honor to the two lives they brought us.